#970 Presenting to Google

Today I present a website that I worked on with a group for 6 weeks. To Google.

While I don’t have a medical degree, I’m positive I’ve developed carpel tunnel, an anxiety problem, and an ulcer.

Thanks Dan Sinker.

Oh, check out the bane of my existence here.

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#971 TLC Shows

Ripping families apart, one series at a time.

I’m not even going to dive into the pile of shit that is The Family formerly known as The Gosslins.

What about their obsession with disabled people? Mermaid girl, I was born without arms, the 1,000 pound man, Little People Big World, 18 Kids and Counting. The list goes on.

And yet I can’t turn away. I watch, transfixed by the absolute lunacy beaming back at me. It’s the modern-day freakshow. Mothers who pop babies out like it’s a hobby. Children born with horribly debilitating diseases.  A one-legged dog.

In a sick and strange way I feel better watching these weirdo’s-I mean-courageous people. Because if they can make I can surely make it right? That lady only has one leg and was born without a spleen. What’s my excuse? Is it shallow to compare yourself to the people seen on TLC? Of course. Do I care? Absolutely not. My standards were low to begin with and they’re going anywhere but up.

Terrible.

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Filed under Like watching a train wreck, Seriously?, Unsanitary, What you do instead of work

# 972 Rap Lyrics

Don’t get me wrong. I love rap music as much as any other upper middle class white girl. I went to a ghetto school and have been known to, on occasion, get crunk.

But even with my affinity for gangster rap, I can still admit that those fine fella’s (and the rare lady) are horrendous wordsmiths.

Allow me to present my case with the help of one of my favorite blogs, Snacks and Shit.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: Exhibit C:

Exhibit D: And just for shits let’s add in another.

Exhibit E:

Terrible.

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Filed under Have you been drinking?, Idiot., Seriously?, Terrible, You sound like a toddler

#973 Secret Santa’s

Keep your hand knitted scarves and scented candles. I’d rather take the $15 bucks and get hammered on cheap egg nog.

Another useless trinket! Just what I've always wanted.

Terrible.

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#974 Construction

WHAT?! I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE INCESSANT BANGING OF THE BULLDOZER THREE FEET FROM ME. NO, IT’S NOT GOING TO STOP ANY TIME SOON. WHAT?! YEAH, THE WEATHER IS NICE.

It's like a lullaby really.

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#976 Viral Videos

Sucking your productivity since the invention of YouTube.

Now go Google grape lady.

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#977 Facebook Applications

If I get one more invitation to Farmville I’m going to buy Sarah Palin’s book.

I'm going to start a fire in your imaginary forest.

And if I joined your Mafia family I’d be a narc.

Terrible.

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