Don’t get me wrong. I love rap music as much as any other upper middle class white girl. I went to a ghetto school and have been known to, on occasion, get crunk.
But even with my affinity for gangster rap, I can still admit that those fine fella’s (and the rare lady) are horrendous wordsmiths.
Allow me to present my case with the help of one of my favorite blogs, Snacks and Shit.
Exhibit B: Exhibit C:
Exhibit D: And just for shits let’s add in another.
Keep your hand knitted scarves and scented candles. I’d rather take the $15 bucks and get hammered on cheap egg nog.
Another useless trinket! Just what I've always wanted.
Hey, Tiger, can we have a heart to heart? I just need your help in understanding this whole situation.
So let me just lay out the facts.
1. You drove your car into a fire hydrant and then into a tree. Your wife broke the back window with one of your golf clubs. She may or may not have been aiming for your face.
2. You have slept around. And by “around” I mean “with anything that has a fake tan and questionable morals.”
3. You publicly admitted to your indiscretions and have taken an “indefinite” break from golf.
4. You have extremely white teeth.
What a smug mug.
Now I can maybe understand running around on your wife if she could, by any stretch of the imagination, be considered hideous. But she can’t.
I bet she's got a great personality.
She’s Swedish. And a model. She’s a Swedish model. On the scale of who you can cheat on, she falls right around “Are you a fucking moron?”
You deserve to be left. By your wife and your sponsors. No one cheats on a Swedish model and gets away with it. NOBODY!