#981 Tiger Woods

Hey, Tiger, can we have a heart to heart? I just need your help in understanding this whole situation.

So let me just lay out the facts.

1. You drove your car into a fire hydrant and then into a tree. Your wife broke the back window with one of your golf clubs. She may or may not have been aiming for your face.

2. You have slept around. And by “around” I mean “with anything that has a fake tan and questionable morals.”

3. You publicly admitted to your indiscretions and have taken an “indefinite” break from golf.

4. You have extremely white teeth.

What a smug mug.

Now I can maybe understand running around on your wife if she could, by any stretch of the imagination, be considered hideous. But she can’t.

I bet she's got a great personality.

She’s Swedish. And a model. She’s a Swedish model. On the scale of who you can cheat on, she falls right around “Are you a fucking moron?”

You deserve to be left. By your wife and your sponsors. No one cheats on a Swedish model and gets away with it. NOBODY!

Terrible.

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Filed under Idiot., Seriously?, Terrible

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