#999 Computer Crashes

Authors Note: While this post my be fueled by the rage accompanied by my own recent crash, it will not compromise the high journalistic standards we here at 1000 Terrible Things strive to uphold.

Don't mess with Michael Bolton

Don't mess with Michael Bolton

There you are, enjoying your idyllic Friday afternoon at the office, thinking about how good it feels to finally have a firm grasp on that finicky report you’ve been working on for the past week and imagining what you’re going to do on your day off tomorrow.

Then, terror strikes. Your personal computing machine is suddenly non-responsive. You click the mouse, tap the space bar, even give it the good ol’ CTL+ALT+delete trick.


You continue to stare at the screen as it smugly glows back at you. That unsettling feeling in your stomach isn’t from that questionable lunch made of leftovers you stole from a coworker. It’s the indisputable, unmistakable, horrific feeling that only comes with a computer crash.

It almost looks like it's laughing at you.

It almost looks like it's laughing at you.

You immediately start taking mental inventory. Did I save that spreadsheet? When did I last back up my hard drive? Will that game of solitaire pop up when IT comes to fix it?

Your worst case scenario? All your open files were lost. The finicky report, the pointless spreadsheet, your high score on Farkle. Everything. Even worse, you haven’t cleared your browser history in a while and, for the life of you, you just can’t remember if it was before or after your college buddies sent you that porn labeled as “Grandma’s Snicker doodle recipe.”

Your best case scenario? Everything was saved, you just have to restart and move on with your day. But you know a crash will happen again soon, because in the world of computer crashes, you may have won the battle, but you will never win the war.

Don't say you haven't thought about it...

Don't say you haven't thought about it...




Filed under Terrible

4 responses to “#999 Computer Crashes

  1. Evan Minsker

    Can thing #998 be “monster pile of dishes, no dish soap?” In my kitchen, that’s a very real problem right now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy dish soap.

  2. Margaret Smith

    Computer crashes ARE the worst thing ever! That’s why I spent the money on a Mac. I know nothing about technology and can’t even deal with trying to fix a PC if it breaks down on me. Thank you, genius bar.

    And P.S., I’m totally down with worst thing #998. It doesn’t get much better than getting home from work at 11 p.m. and then looking forward to eating you’re $1 Ramen, but than realizing that you don’t have any clean bowls. Seriously.

  3. The hard drive on my Mac melted once. That’s what they told me at the shop. I lost every piece of journalism I wrote while at KU, and about 3,000 songs.

    Here’s another vote for the dishes. I just cleared a two-foot-high stack of pots and pans out of my sink. I’d been using chopsticks because I couldn’t dig out any forks. Yech.

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